We’ve all had healthy and unhealthy relationships in our lives. Relationships that have served our higher good. Relationships that have inspired us, motivated us and added happiness and health to our lives. On the other hand, a relationship that pulls you down, wears on you and is emotionally draining is not healthy. We get to choose who we spend time, energy and heart with.
Some people deserve the best version of you, while others do not. It’s really simple but we complicate relationships with so many other parts of us that do not add value. The ego often gets involved, comparing someone to yourself or to your ex. Our role in a relationship is to add value to our partner and ourselves simultaneously, a tough task if we haven’t even learned to love and appreciate ourselves yet, let alone if our partner hasn’t either.
I do believe that we all learn different lessons at different points in our lives, in different relationships. Our role is to learn and evolve so that we can become better and bring an upgraded version of ourselves to our next partner. That way if the current relationship doesn’t work at least we can “move up the latter” and have a better partner.
One lesson that i’ve learned that has been a very difficult lesson at times in my life in relationships is to see someone’s expectation of me and what words, actions, beliefs and feelings support that expectation. As humans we tend to place expectations on each other. We do this consciously and subconsciously.
Some of those expectations are positive.
Some of those expectations are negative.
Some People Expect Good Things From You.
Others Expect Only The Worst.
When you recognize this it is important to pay attention to how this person makes you feel about yourself. Or, if you’re really aware of these things how they are trying to make you feel about yourself. Negativity wants company. Someone who doesn’t have goals will subconsciously bring yours down. Someone who isn’t evolving and becoming a better human being will stunt you from doing so. Someone who isn’t open to loving 100% will only give you 50% of themselves and you will never feel full of love from someone if they only share half of their love with you.
It’s our job as sentient, conscious, spiritual beings to wake up to our relationship with ourselves and our relationship with others. To start you have to either distance or remove habitually negative and toxic people from your life. Whether that’s a friendship or relationship. If someone only drags you down you have to move away from them. Back out of the room slowly and quietly! Escape while you can!
If You Can Drop Expectations in A Relationship: You WIN!
The smartest approach is to drop all expectations completely. Let go of the attachment to the idea of an outcome that you believe is best for your life. You think you know what’s best for your life but you truly do not know. A person could be in your life for a chapter to serve a very specific purpose and then they are supposed to move on.
If you decide to have expectations at least be an optimist. Expect the best. Support the best with your intentions and positive energy towards your partner. Either have no expectations (the most freeing) or expect the best. Even the best expectation for your relationship and partner may let you down though. When they let you down (and they will at some point, we all make mistakes) you will have to learn to let go of expectations and forgive to move on. To move forward.
Develop The Skill Of Reading Intention And Energy
This is crucial. Someones intentions may be completely different than what they verbalize to you. Someones energy may be corrupted by their past and they haven’t taken the time to address and heal their emotional traumas. The majority of people haven’t healed from past emotional trauma, so you’ll have to deal with their shit if they do not deal with it themselves. Who wants to deal with shit from their past? You should be starting fresh and focusing on a better future. This leads me to a video I recorded to share more thoughts on this. We need to associated ourselves with people who expect the best and support the best in us, not the opposite.
Only a small percentage of people are true optimists. Only a small percentage of people deal with their emotional pain and trauma from the past. Only a small percentage of people truly want to grow and evolve to be healthier, happier and live a better life. It takes work. It takes effort, it takes energy! Some people simply do not have that desire in them. Some people haven’t seen a clear vision of a life that can be better than their current set of circumstances so they give up trying all together and just float through life like an aimless ship without a destination.
If you want to have a healthy and happy relationship find someone who matches you in terms of goals, vision, inspiration. Find someone that aligns with your belief system and someone that may not have the same path but is exploring the same forest as you and those paths happen to cross. You deserve a healthy and happy relationship. There’s no need to sell yourself short because of who you were in the past. Forgive yourself. Heal. Step into a brighter future relationship. It’s a gift to yourself that only you can give.