I blog and produce articles and videos around the topics mainly of nutrition, diet and detoxification but the world needs much more than a change in diet to see a big positive change. In my life personally as of late i’ve had a series of emotionally challenging experiences. So maybe I write this more for myself than for you. I know there are others that need to hear this though, so this is for you at the point in your life when you’re challenged with pain and need to forgive. We all have challenges in life that test our patience, commitment, attitude and ability to grow.
I think that the three areas of life we can grow (or die) in are related to finances, health and relationships in one way or another. I’ve had my fair share of struggles in each, not as much in health because i’ve educated and invested in myself from a fairly young age. Relationships though, can be the most challenging as well as the most damaging to someone’s happiness, health and well-being.
You can struggle in your health but you can’t blame anyone for that. You determine how healthy you are. You can struggle in your finances but at the end of the day you can account for the work you did or did not do. When it comes to relationships though, the challenge of being coherent and on the same page as another human being can be much more challenging. When shit hits the fan it’s much easier to point the finger at someone and say “they don’t love me” or “they wronged me” and start to back out and isolate yourself from that person.
Relationships can be an extremely tough learning lesson. Most people leave unhealthy relationships bruised and battered and expect to heal without putting anything into it, or ‘in time’ as it’s so often stated.
Just like your health, you get out what you put in. If you don’t put in a lot of really hard work into healing and rejuvenating your sense of self, purpose and spirit, you won’t get back to that place of healthy co-creation that you need to live a healthy and happy life. I believe that relationships in general determine the quality of your life. If you have good relationships with your family, friends and partner then life generally works out well.
If you do not have good relationships with your friends, family or partner… You can hold a grudge for year and that holding turns into your own self-destruction. There’s a lot to learn about relationships (on both sides of the equation) and with a dedicated mind that area of life can be enriched and will spill over into other areas of life.
If you cannot heal from an emotional trauma from childhood or adulthood and you’re still holding onto that how can you have a healthy emotionally enriching experience in life now? you’re still holding onto the past, and that past is weighing you down and acts as a lens of perception that determines your current life experience.
I believe at a very core level of my being that emotional healing and understanding will “heal the world” faster than anything else. We’ve become so engulfed in the story of our pain that we drown in the by-product of our own pain. We do this to ourselves. We have to take responsibility for our life, our actions, our choices and our feelings.
One man has paved the path in helping people with extreme mental illness heal in a way that no one else has been able to replicate. Dr. Stanley Hew Len was a new clinical psychologist at the Hawaii state hospital appointed to the psychiatric ward.
This ward was full of people with deep mental illness. People who had committed murder, rape, kidnapping and other serious crimes. The ward was so feared by employee’s because people in this ward would attack employee’s almost daily. People would often call in sick, hide behind closed doors as shackled prisoners walked by.
The place became run-down. The paint started chipping off the walls, the garden was let go. The place turned into shambles.
Dr. Hew Len enters the scene. The staff doesn’t believe any changes will come of it. Just another psychologist with crazy ideas they thought. Dr. Len had a different approach than most though. He believed in the ancient Hawaiian wisdom of and teachings of something known as Ho’oponopono. Ho’oponopono is the ancient knowledge that everything is your responsibility. If you’re experiencing pain, heartache, trauma or anything of the like. It is your responsibility.
A very important distinction needs to be made here. Ho’oponopono teaches that it is in fact your responsibility but that it is not your fault. This is a key difference in the healing process. Your responsibility means that you need to address it. Your fault means that you caused it. Taking up responsibility is the first step in healing any trauma you hold. Holding onto fault and blaming yourself is what most people tend to do.
With this knowledge Dr. Stanley Hew Len practiced what is known as remote healing utilizing ho’oponopono. He would come to work in a cheerful mood and ask for patient files and sit in his office most of the day.
He recognized that in this environment of pain, and terrorizing fear that it was his responsibility to heal the part in him that was reflected into those around him, the inmates. He actually took more than responsibility for his healing, he took responsibility for the pain, trauma and fear of the patients in the ward.
One by one after looking at their files he would practice a simple mantra for personal self-healing and by doing this the ward changed in just a few short months. Soon the walls were repainted, garden improved, tennis courts improved and soon people were interacting with the guards and playing tennis with them. So many healthy, positive changes occurred because one man was willing to try something new, different.
The Ho’oponopono Mantra is Simple…
I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You.
The mantra is a prayer as Dr. Hew Len explains that it is your conscious and subconscious mind communicating with each other, to create healing and synergy between your past and your now, your inner child and your parent. The mother represents the conscious mind and the child represents the subconscious mind. Through Ho’oponopono you’re acknowledging your inner child (subsconscious) with your “mother mind” also known as your conscious mind and applying the simple Mantra above to help heal your inner child.
Dr. Hew Len explains this process with this Inner Child meditation here:
As you can see Dr. Hew Len guides you through the process in a very conscious way. One of the things i’ve learned from talking with mental health experts is that childhood traumas always leave an imprint. That imprint effects that adult for the rest of their life if not addressed. The trauma is then acted out as an adult. Ever run across an adult that acts very childish? maybe plugs their ears when you talk and goes ‘blah blah blah’? That’s an example. Childish behavior as an adult is a by-product of undealt with trauma. This may even be you. If it is, you’re limiting yourself and it’s time to take responsibility. Practicing ho’ponopono is one way to do that.
Practicing the practice above from Dr. Hew Len is a great start. You can also just listen to Ho’ponopono audio tracks and repeat this mantra to yourself with yourself (or another person) in mind to ask for healing. This method can be used to help you heal, or to help others heal. Here’s an audio track you can play and repeat to yourself:
(From Jason Stephenson on Youtube)
There’s something very profound about the Ho’ponopono prayer/meditation. It acknowledges things that need to be addressed in anyone’s healing.
I’m sorry, please forgive me. This part of the mantra addresses care and kindness for yourself and for others and asks for forgiveness for any wrongdoing to yourself or from others to you. This is a universal mantra, not for or against anyone. It offers an apology (sorry, in humility) and asks for forgiveness, in humility once again. This process is vitally important because it disconnects your ego and pride (which deceives you into thinking you’re fine) from your higher good, your highest self… which is fully aware that you need healing.
This humbling sets the tone to be in a space of humility and in that space you are giving up control to be able to heal.
The second part of the mantra is equally important. Thank you, I Love you. It’s an acknowledgement first of gratitude and then of love and acceptance. It allows you to step into a place of gratitude and love which is the receiving phase of healing.
I Love you, I’m Sorry – is an offering phase of healing. It’s you offering love and apology for any wrongdoing or ill will, it’s a peace offering for your healing.
Please Forgive Me, Thank You – is a receiving phase of healing. It’s you opening your arms to receive a healing you need.
I heard about Ho’ponopono from Joe Vitale’s work probably 5 or 6 years ago and am just now getting around to writing about and sharing his story because I have an outlet to do so. It’s a story that needs to be shared to inspire others to practice ho’ponopono in their lives to receive healing for themselves and for those around them that they love as well. I hope if nothing else you practice this mantra in your life and program it into your subconscious that you are worthy of forgiveness, healing and love. We all to often forget that truth.